


The Interview

by Brea_hiddles



Category: Loki - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Interview, Interview style, Just the Beginning, Loki - Freeform, Sassy Loki, That's okay, illegal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-10
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2019-01-31 11:18:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12680823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brea_hiddles/pseuds/Brea_hiddles
Summary: Lily just landed the interview of a lifetime with famed war criminal Loki. Unfortunately, Loki doesn't know how to cooperate. How will this interview change her life?





	1. Chapter 1

*The Interview

*TAP TAP

“Testing, testing, is this thing on?”

*TAP TAP _“Yes it’s on.”_

“Okay! Here we go…Hello everyone my name is Lily Kondo and I am here with LLB news. We have obtained an exclusive interview with the one, and the only…Thor!”

*Cheers

“Or his brother anyway!”

“Adopted brother.”

“Hmm…well yes, his adopted brother Loki! What are you the god of again?”

“Fucking.” “

Agh-I-excus-what?”

“Fucking. Fucking around with mortals. That’s my thing. I have a website and everything about it.”

“I…uh. What is his power? Someone find it for me!”

_“Please give me a moment…oh! It’s mischief. Hm…pretty fitting. Loki is the god of mischief and apparently women love him?”_

“Okay moving on! So Loki, what brings you to earth?”

“Well, from my chains I think you can guess.”

*Clank *Clank

“Yes ladies and gentlemen he is wearing chains because he is considered a war criminal after what happened last time he stepped onto earth. So Loki how’s your brother?”

“I don’t want to talk about him.”

“Why not?”

—silence—-

“Is it because that’s a bit of a touchy spot for you? Why are you evil and Thor good?”

“How does one define ‘evil’ and ‘good?’ Is it not just a figment of your mortal imaginations?” 

"Uh I’m not sure Loki. I don’t speak philosophy. Anyways, what will you do now that your mission failed-”

“It did not fail mortal! I am still in control and I can have those mortals behind you on their knees right now! It’s all part of the-…”

“How are you still in control? Did you mean to finish with ‘plan?’ How can you finish that plan in chains?”

“I’ve had enough of your needless and irritating questions, mortal. Would you not answer some questions for yourself? Why are you here? Do your avengers know you are here? What would happen if I were to gather your heroes? Would you enjoy that?”

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about. We are here under Mr. Tony Stark’s instructions.”

“You, mortal with the awful haircut.”

_“Me?”_

“Yes. Answer me before I kill you and gut your family, who knows you’re here?”

_“Man I don’t know what you’re talking about okay…her cousin let us in the back. We just need to catch a break dude…”_

“Hm. So I am correct? As I always am. Now that I know you are here out of terms, I believe you,  _Ms. Lily_ , are under my control darling and you have some explaining to do.”

END OF TAPE ONE


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just trying to put some fun thoughts of Loki onto paper, or rather screen. If a quote is italicized that means it is NOT Loki/OFC talking. It is someone else.

“So _Lily_ , where are you from?”

 

“Uh what happened to calling me mortal?”

 

“You would rather I refer to you in such a plain term? I think it would be best to develop an intimate connection before rushing into things, which is how an interview is _actually_ done. Unlike how you have treated me thus far. So yes, I will be calling you by your name, is it Lily? Or is that short for something?”

 

“Uh it’s just Lily.”

 

_“Lil…what are you doing? We should just leave! You don’t want to answer his questions I mean he’s a psychopath!”_

“Psychopath, huh? You are not entirely wrong, except about the part about leaving. Now Lily, answer my question before I alert this whole building that there are trespassers.”

 

_“Lil don’t-“_

“My name is just Lily.”

 

“Perfect. Now Lily, where are you from?”

 

“I am from the United States.”

 

“Now, Lily, that is quite obvious. I need more than that, I want the city.”

 

“You know Loki, I’ve been thinking…how about I give you an answer, if you give me one? I mean it’s fair right?”

 

“Hm…I suppose it is. Answer mine first.”

 

“I am from LA.”

 

“Ah, I’ve heard of that place. Everyone is fake on the outside, there is something horrible called “traffic” and it never rains.”

 

“Wow for an evil alien guy, you know a lot about earth! Where are you from?”

 

“Of course I do! If I am to rule this place, I must learn all of its history and culture. I am from a place called Asgard. It is much better than this measly inhabitance of Midgard. Why are you here interviewing a, I believe the term your colleague used, ‘psychopath?’”

 

“Your attitude is greaaat about earth, what a greaaaaaat ruler you’d make. I am here because we need to catch a break, okay. Do you hate your brother? Because I mean he seems really cool.”

 

“Ugh you Midgardians and your horrid taste. What is this ‘catching a break?’ And my brother and I’s history is a long, complicated one. Probably fifty times longer than your entire life span.”

 

“Wow! You’re old huh? Hey Mike can you write that down?”

 

“ _I think we should leave.”_

“Not yet! How are you exactly Loki?”

 

“Well, to be exact, about 5,260 years old. But who’s counting?”

 

_“Damn…”_

“Okay brief review—You’re 5,000 years old, from Asgard, want to rule Earth, and know about LA?”

 

“You forgot the part about being a _God_.”

 

“Oh yeah! Duh!” *Facepalm “God of Mischief huh? What do you consider mischief?”

 

“Why, I am rather glad you asked an interesting question, for once. I tend to create chaos, a specialty of mine. Pranking Thor is a favorite of mine. I often conjure snakes into places they would't be found. One time I did it in Thor's bed as he was about to enjoy a great fucking. Ever since then, I've been associated with snakes.”

 

“ _Makes sense you have a slimy look._ ”

 

“What was that mortal colleague? Would you say that louder so we can all hear?”

 

“ _I…uh-I-uh…”_ *Choking noise

 

“Cat’s got your tongue? Or rather a _God has got your tongue_.”

 

“Mike! What’s wrong?! Heartburn again?”

 

“No Lily, your mortal friend here is choking on his words it seems.” *Evil chuckle

 

“Loki! Stop! You’re gonna hurt him!”

 

“Stop? But why! I enjoy making his face turn from red to blue.”

 

*Choking noise

 

“Mike!”

 

*Evil chuckle

 

“Loki stop! Think about what you’re doing! How will explain the dead body?”

 

*Choking sound stops

 

_*Gasp “I” *Gasp “Think we should” *Gasp “leave now.”_

“Okay Mike you go outside the room. I will gather our equipment and meet you there!”

 

* _Shuffling *Gasp *Door Slams_

“Sheesh Loki. You didn’t have to do that.”

 

“Puny mortal. He should not speak unless he is ready for the consequences.”

 

“Yeah, well speaking of consequences, you totally ruined this tape! I had such a cool interview and now it’s ruined thanks to you!”

 

“Well, Lily I suppose you’ll just have to come back.” (Imagine evil shrug)

 

“No way! This was my only chance to get into here. How will I get in again? Especially since you’re gonna tattle on me the minute I leave!”

 

“I will not tattle on you girl, besides what other form of entertainment will I have then? Besides I can help you get back in.”

 

“What? How? I don’t believe you.”

 

“I shall give you this key. It opens any and all doors.”

 

“A key that opens _any_ door?!”

 

“So long as your objective is to get to _me_ that is.” (Smug smirk)

 

“Oh. Hmm…okay I’ll take it. But wait, if you’re holding the key right now in your cell, how will I get it?”

 

“So many questions, what ever happened to an answer for an answer?”

 

“That was before you ruined the tape. Now hurry! Mike is probably about to call security himself because of how long I’ve been in here. How are you going to give me the key? I may be naïve and gullible at times, but even _I_ know not to step foot into your cell!”

 

“The answer lies in your jacket pocket.”

 

*Reaches for pocket

*Feels key

 

“How?”

 

“No more questions. You have your key and your answer. Now, answer me one final question.”

 

“Okay, one more, then I have to go!”

 

“Do you like games?”

 

*Silence

 

“What kind of games? I mean there is board games, which are pretty boring. But weirdly enough I will play a board game on my phone—kind of beside the point, but it makes it soo fun! I also love Mario Cart. Anything electronic I guess, but nothing like sporty, like dodgeball. I once played in middle school and for some reason this guy hit me _right there,_ if you know what I mean—”

 

“It is time to leave. You have answered my question, which was a simple yes or no, with a large ramble. You should attend to the wheezing mortal. I fear if you wait any longer he may die from worry.”

 

“Oh! Mike! Ok I go to go. Bye! I have the key so we’ll be back!”

 

*Door slams. Rattling girl is gone

*Rubs temples

 

“She is quite the rambler. She may talk more than Stark. At least she is so very easy to deceive. Come back soon, _Lily_.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
